Take the Self-Assessment

This isn't a diagnosis, a test you can pass or fail, or something anyone else will see. It's a private way to check what you're feeling against patterns that are well documented in coercive control. Answer honestly — "sometimes" counts.
 
Control and monitoring
 
• They track my location, messages, or who I talk to.
• I feel like I need to "report in" or ask permission for ordinary decisions.
• They control or closely monitor money I earn or have access to.
 
Isolation
 
• I've lost touch with friends or family since this relationship began, and it wasn't entirely my choice.
• I feel like I have to choose between them and people I care about.
• They get upset, jealous, or punishing when I spend time with others.
 
Reality and blame
 
• I've been told I'm "crazy," "too sensitive," or "imagining things" when I bring up something that hurt me.
• I often end up apologizing, even when I'm not sure what I did wrong.
• I've started keeping a mental (or actual) record of conversations because I don't trust my memory of them anymore.
 
Fear and intimidation
 
• I change my behavior to avoid their reaction.
• They've threatened to hurt themselves, hurt me, take the kids, or ruin me financially or reputationally if I leave or disagree.
• I feel physically or emotionally unsafe at times, even if nothing "bad enough" has happened to justify that to others.
 
What your answers mean
 
• A few checked, mostly "control and monitoring" or "isolation": Worth learning more. Start with What Is Coercive Control.
• Several checked across categories: This matches a recognized pattern. You're not overreacting. Go to Get Help.
• Anything checked in "Fear and intimidation," especially threats: Your safety may be at risk right now. Go straight to In Crisis Right Now.
 
Whatever you checked, it's real, and there's support built for exactly this. This tool never saves, stores, or sends your answers anywhere.